So last week Bud Norris, mayor of Mount Vernon, Washington (about thirty miles south of Bellingham) made national headlines by offering to present a key to the city to none other than… Glenn Beck.
No, seriously. As surreal as it sounds, I’m not making this up. Glenn Beck will be awarded a key to the city of Mount Vernon by Norris on the 26th of this month. Norris has also proclaimed September 26th “Glenn Beck Day.”
“Well, Glenn Beck is a person I’ve known for a long time, but I want to recognize him for what he’s achieved in his professional life,” Norris told NPR Seattle affiliate KUOW’s Ross Reynolds in an interview last week. “Starting out here in a fairly rural portion of the state, he’s worked very hard since he was fifteen years old and now he’s a nationally recognized figure in radio and TV broadcasting, as an entertainer, commentator, whatever you’d like to label him as.”
I can think of several choice words that would accurately characterize Beck, but none of them are “entertainer” or “commentator.”
As you might imagine, Norris’ decision hasn’t gone over too well with many Mount Vernon residents. TV station KING 5 in Seattle sent a film crew to Mount Vernon and got some footage of a lively anti-Beck protest orchestrated by the Young Democrats of Skagit Valley. "That success is built off a lot of ridiculous and hateful and divisive language,” the YDSD president told KING 5’s Meg Coyle. “We feel that as a non-partisan position, the mayor should not be endorsing that at all."
How does the mayor respond to charges of partisan endorsement? (Again, I feel I should say I’m not making this up.) He disagrees. You see, his choice to honor Beck isn’t partisan at all, as Beck has never actually declared any party affiliation. Strangely, Mayor Norris wasn’t struck by lightning immediately after giving his explanation.
It should be noted that the decision to award a key to the city rests solely on Norris’ shoulders. The Skagit County Herald reports that there’s nothing Mount Vernon city council members can do to stop the mayor from giving the key to whomever he wants. But as a form of protest, six of the seven council members will not be in attendance for the ceremony.
Pretty damn weird and ridiculous, right? But here’s where it gets awesome: In his excellent politics blog, Bellingham Herald reporter Sam Taylor posted a copy of a letter from Bellingham mayor Dan Pike, addressed to one Jon Stewart of “The Daily Show.” And why would Mayor Pike be sending Jon Stewart of “The Daily Show” a letter? Why, to invite him to accept a key to the city of Bellingham, of course!
Here’s a cut and paste of Pike’s letter, directly from Sam’s blog:
September 4, 2009
Jon Stewart
c/o The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
733 11th Avenue
New York, NY 10019-5051
Dear Mr. Stewart and Daily Show Producers:
My name is Dan Pike, and I am the Mayor of Bellingham, Washington. I also went to Lawrence High School, Jon Stewart’s alma mater, a few years ahead of him (Class of 1975), though I never knew him and doubt he ever knew me.
I am writing because I am currently the Mayor of Bellingham, Washington, a community of about 80,000 between Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA. The next city south of us on I-5, Mount Vernon (pop. 30,000), has just announced they are giving the keys to that city to Glenn Beck, a native son. The news got me to thinking that if they could give Beck a key simply for being born there, perhaps Bellingham could provide a key to Mr. Stewart for the better reasons of providing cogent yet comedic analysis of news events and personalities on a daily basis, as well as being an alumnus of the same high school as Bellingham’s Mayor. I was particularly moved and informed by the Daily Show’s recent analysis of the evolution of Glenn Beck’s feelings about the US healthcare system over the past couple of years.
We are bigger and better than Mount Vernon, and so are interested in a bigger, better star to receive our key. As an added bonus, should Mr. Stewart accept, we would try to track down Stephen, the eagle from the Colbert Report who frequently lives in our county, so Jon could have a personal sighting. If Mr. Colbert would like to receive a key to Bellingham, too, he is also welcome. If Mr. Stewart cannot come to Bellingham to accept, perhaps I could deliver it at some time in the months ahead, when I come to Lawrenceville to visit my mother.
While this is a joke of sorts, intended as a counterpoint to the Beck event in Mount Vernon, the offer is serious.
I may be contacted through my office at (360) 778-8100, on my cell phone at (redacted), or via email at dpike@cob.org.
Thanks for your consideration; keep up the great work!
Dan Pike,
Mayor
City of Bellingham, Washington
Suck it, Glenn Beck! Who cares about a piddling key from Mount Vernon, when our boy Stewart’s been offered the key to the City of Subdued Excitement! Bellingham for the win!
No word yet as to whether Stewart will actually take up the offer. The odds… aren’t great that Jon would be willing to travel across the country just to make a fool of someone who does a decent job of that already on a fairly regular basis. But I love the fact that Pike offered, and would actually do it if Stewart agreed. What glorious egg it would be, smeared all over Glenn Beck’s maniacal little face. Cross your fingers, everybody.
Fingers crossed!
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