My Top Ten Surprisingly Enjoyable Reads of 2009 -- Part 2

One week later (there goes that resolution), here are the rest of the ten surprisingly enjoyable reads I had had the good fortune to stumble upon. As I noted in the previous installment, just because I stumbled upon the works mentioned in this list, doesn’t mean that they were released over the past year. In fact, I think my number five pick is the only item on the list that actually did come out in 2009. The purpose of this list is merely to document ten favorite bits of literary gold that I managed to pan over the previous year. So, without further ado, here are items five through one.

5. Batgirl by Bryan Q. Miller – The guys at my local comic book shop are always trying to smuggle new stuff into my weekly comic book pull file. They tend to exploit my weakness; for instance, I read “Batman” and “Detective Comics.” Therefore any time there are any new Batman-related titles or miniseries, there’s a good chance that copies will innocently end up in my file. Ninety-five percent of the time it’s utter shit (like Kevin Smith’s Hindenburg-esque failure “Batman: Cacophony,” for example). But every once in a blue moon they’ll hook me up with a gem. Enter Batgirl. Stephanie Brown (daughter of old Batman villain the Cluemaster; formerly the vigilante Spoiler, Tim Drake’s girlfriend, and the fourth Robin; formerly dead, then not dead, then boring) is the new Batgirl, a stark contrast to the previous incarnation (Cassandra Cain; rehabilitated child assassin, badass martial artist, not that great with talking/people, full-body costume). I gotta say, I was pretty disappointed to hear that Cassandra was being replaced as Batgirl. That disappointment lasted precisely one half issue. Turning a mediocre punching bag like Stephanie Brown into an interesting and compelling character is a testament to writer Bryan Q. Miller’s abilities. The stories are light, fast-paced, compelling and colorful. They’re like the dinner salad of comics. Miller has breathed new life into second-string characters with witty dialogue and narration that reminds me a little of Joss Whedon. Best of all, I’m pretty sure this is Miller’s first whack at comics (I think he came to DC from an extended stint as a writer for “Smallville”). Thus far, “Batgirl” is shaping up to be one hell of a freshman debut.

4. “Pop Candy: Unwrapping Pop Culture’s Hip and Hidden Treasures” by Whitney Matheson – This one’s a little different from the rest of my picks, in that it’s not a book, an audio book, or even a comic book. It’s a blog. The best way to describe “USA Today” culture writer Matheson’s blog is to pull a quote from her welcome page: “Cult movies, comic books, indie rock, sci-fi, '80s greats, sweet links, general weirdness -- this is all the stuff of Pop Candy.” Thanks to my friend Ryan for pointing this blog out to me, it’s quickly become one of my most regularly-visited stops while spending far too many long and lonely hours on the World Wide Web. And the more time I spend on Matheson’s site (she writes a LOT; just today she’s made seven long-ish posts), the more I realize that she’s into pretty much every single thing I’m into, and sooooo much more. If I want to know what will be coming out on the Criterion Collection this month, she’ll have a link to it. If I want to read about the latest rumors concerning the final season of “Lost,” she’ll have a link to the story. If I want to read cool stories about seeing Morrisey in concert, she’ll have ‘em waiting. Whitney Matheson is amazing. Over the past year I’ve added her to my very exclusive list of unobtainable women that I pine for, a list formerly comprised only of Rachel Maddow, Sophia Coppola, Naomi Wolfe and Betsy Braddock. Make of that what you will.

3. Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes – I’ll start this one by saying that I wasn’t pleasantly surprised to find I’d enjoyed this book. I’d read the first 100 or so pages in college, and really enjoyed what I’d read. But life as an English major being what it is, it’s sadly all to common an occurrence to start a book and have to put it down in favor of several others (simultaneously). This was the case with Quixote and me. So it was no surprise to me that I’d greatly enjoy reading this enormous history of the Gentleman from La Mancha. That was a given. No, the surprising joy I took in Cervantes’ masterpiece came in realizing how unbelievable similar the madness of Don Quixote is to that of the modern Neo-Conservative movement. Consider: Quixote is a character living in a romanticized world of his own creation, whose goal in life is to restore a “golden age” of chivalry and virtue onto a land which it never actually existed in the first place. He relies on the aid of an ignorant simpleton who doesn’t know better and who agrees to serve in exchange for possibly being named governor of an island some time in the future (even though he doesn’t actually know what an island is). During the course of his misadventures, Quixote regularly rearranges reality to suit his every whim, often reinterpreting actual people/places/events to better suit his own worldview. He’s routinely mocked and belittled by those who know better, but is very often dangerous because of the fanatical conviction and abandon he asserts in his beliefs. I’m telling you, there’s one hell of a thesis in here!  Quixote could accidentally be the accidetal hero of the Tea Bagger!

2. Buddha by Osamu Tezuka – Early on in Tezuka’s eight-volume saga, there’s a parable about a group of animals who find a dying monk lost in the mountains and resolve to help him. Some of the animals gather wood and start a fire. Some bring the monk water. Some build the monk shelter, some lay beside him and share their warmth. After the animals pitch in to help the monk, they turn to Rabbit and ask how he’s contributed. He was too small to gather wood or build shelter or try and keep the monk warm. How would Rabbit help the monk, they wonder. Rabbit saw this and understood that there was only one way in which he could help; Rabbit threw himself into the fire so that the monk might eat him and survive. I remember being pretty disturbed by this story when I read it in volume one. “Couldn’t the rabbit have just gone and gathered some berries or bugs or something?” I thought. “Wasn’t it kind of silly of him to kill himself instead of just going to find food?” But by the time the parable was related again in volume eight, my reaction was totally different. This time I marveled at the beauty of the story, and at the resolve and kindness of the rabbit, of the courage it took to perform such a selfless act and the great fear which the tiny creature had mastered. That’s kind of the best way I can sum up the experience which is reading Tezuka’s Buddha. It’s weird at first. Like an overdramatic cartoon with too much death and nudity. But by the time you reach the end it’s something totally different. This is the story of the life and death of Siddhartha Gautama, his pursuit and employment of enlightenment, and all the beauty and tragedy that are his legacy. Written and drawn over the course of ten years by the godfather of Japanese comics (try to picture a complete and thorough graphic novelization of the Torah by Will Eisner and you’ll have an idea of how truly amazing this is), Buddha is easily one of the most influential and amazing stories I’ve ever read. I can’t recommend this work enough. It’s not an easy read, especially if you’re not familiar with or a fan of manga. But it’s worth it.

1. Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card – Thanks again to my friend Ryan, this time for planting the Ender’s Game seed in my head years ago when I worked for him at Hastings. “It has one of the best endings ever,” he said, giving me a stripped paperback copy. Of course, I didn’t read it. But the name and the enthusiastic recommendation stuck with me. Imagine my surprise when I picked up the first issue of the comic book adaption of Ender’s, only to realize that the story revolves around a little boy. The actual novel confirmed it. Ender was the name of a six-year old boy, a nickname conceived by his sister when she had trouble pronouncing her brother’s actual name, Andrew. Ender’s Game is a story about children, training to be the last line of defense against an unstoppable force. The concept is ingenious; adults are too slow, too cautious to be super-soldiers. Only children, trained practically from infancy, could possess the speed and recklessness necessary to repel an alien invasion. I don’t want to expound on the plot too much, because letting it unfold gradually is one of the joys of the novel. Suffice to say, the book’s about children learning to be soldiers, and the toll it takes on them. This was my first exposure to Orson Scott Card as a science fiction novelist, and I’ve gotta say I’m very impressed. Since reading Ender’s, I’ve gone through the sequel (Speaker for the Dead) and enjoyed it just as thoroughly. It’s a totally different kind of book, but just as riveting. My hat goes off to Mr. Card. I haven’t enjoyed reading science fiction this much since wandering around on Mars in middle school with Ray Bradbury.

My Top Ten Surprisingly Enjoyable Reads of 2009 -- Part 1

Note: The works mentioned in this list weren’t necessarily published in 2009. In fact, I’m pretty sure that only one or two came out this year. The only qualifying factor the works share is that I picked them up some time over the past year and enjoyed them more than I thought I would.

Also, my reasonings got a bit windier than I'd originally anticipated, so I'm breaking this into two separate posts.  Stay tuned for numbers five through one.

10. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown – Allow me to explain this choice a little before you start booing and hissing. There were two reasons a Dan Brown novel made my list. First, to paraphrase my boss, this is a popcorn book. It’s the prosaic version of a grindhouse film, minus most of the gore and sex. It’s stupid, it’s illogical, it’s mindless fun. Second, I loved how bad the writing, plot and characters were. I mean, come on. It’s almost the exact same plot as The DaVinci Code! For instance: A mysterious murder occurs, dealing with a subject Robert Langdon has just published a book about. The killer is a secretive badass hired by a mysterious villain with nefarious plans that aren’t what they seem. The victim’s daughter is conveniently an expert on certain fields essential to Landgon’s investigation, and they end up fooling around after the big “twist” at the end. Oh, and one of the main characters is disabled. So did I just describe DaVinci or Demons? Or both? You’ll just have to suffer through these bad boys yourself to find out.

9. Rising Stars by J. Michael Straczynski – Fresh of his legendary “Babylon 5” run, one of Straczynski’s first stabs at the comic book industry came in the form of a 24-issue series chronicling the lives of 113 characters, called the “Specials.” All 113 Specials were conceived around the time a mysterious white light illuminated the sky around an Illinois city; as a result, all 113 developed some form of super power as children. The story takes off twenty-something years after the phenomenon. The Specials grew up reluctant celebrities, their powers and identities well-known among society. What begins as a murder mystery quickly metamorphs into something else entirely. And then that something else is switched around, and so on. The scope of Rising Stars changes more than the lousy artists. Honestly, this isn’t Straczynski at his finest; his artists were awful, his characters two dimensional. The appealing part of this read though, is the insight into the younger, fresher mind of Straczynski. All of the signature themes of his later, greater work are visible; the intimate narration, the benevolent collective consciousness. The seeds of his greatness are planted in Rising Stars. [Fun fact: Straczynski recently wrote the screenplay for “The Changeling,” staring Angelina Jolie and directed by Clint Eastwood. Who says comic book writers never amount to anything? Of course, he then went on to write the screenplay for “Ninja Assassin,” so…]

8. Don’t Know Much About the Bible by Kenneth C. Davis – I decided to give this hefty tome a try after reading a favorable review posted by my friend Christian. Generally I steer clear of Bible-related reading, but the lure of potential theological trivia drew me in. Thankfully so. Davis’ book is exhaustively thorough, covering every book in both the new and old testaments. I especially liked the bits about the five (was it five?  I think so) different narrative voices of the Old Testament, the chronology of Moses and his people’s flight from Egypt, and an explanation of who probably came first in the New Testament gospels. For such a big book, this was actually a really quick and pleasant read.

7. Caught Stealing by Charlie Huston – Ladies and gentlemen, pulpy noir is alive and well, and this book is evidence of it. I can’t remember who recommended this one to me, but whoever it was, I owe you one. I picked up the audiobook copy of Stealing soon after landing my first temp job in Washington; it was a thirty minute drive one way, and as a rule I’ll partake in ritual mutilation before I’ll listen to top-forty radio. So, presto. Book on CD, recommended by a mystery somebody. It’s hard to nail down the most appealing aspect of this book. It could be the protagonist Hank, a loveable young down-on-his-luck Sam Malone-esque loser with a drinking problem who was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. It could be the reader, who gave each character their own distinctive sound and did it without being incredibly annoying. Or it could be the inordinate amount of shit that Huston hurls on Hank to transform him into something else entirely by the time the book ends.

6. The Three of Swords by Fritz Leiber – Fantasy prose isn’t usually a genre I muck around in much these days. I paid my dues, I read my allotments of Tolkien and Howard, even made it through a Terry Brooks novel once. But these days if there’s a fantastic adventure in ancient lands to be had, I’ll just as soon read it in the form of a comic book, thank you very much. Which is how I first stumbled onto Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, Leiber’s iconic creations. Howard Chaykin and Mike Mignola did six comic book adaptations of Fafhrd and Mouser tales, and they were really good. Good enough to prod me into taking the plunge and try some of the original prose out firsthand. Three of Swords is a collection of the first three Fafhrd and Mouser books penned by Leiber; those three books are all comprised of short stories (I’m not sure, but I don’t think Leiber ever wrote a full-length novel about Fafhrd and Mouser).  The stories are great fun, most notably because Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser are both such shits. They’re petty, they bicker, they lie, cheat, womanize and steal. They screw stuff up as often as they get it right, and they’re better characters for it. The ingenuity Leiber shows in creating the world of Lankmar its supporting cast is second to none.  He's got more original content and thought packed into his cities and temples than most fantasy books have orcs.   Don't let the god-awful covers on any of the Leiber books scare you away from a highly enjoyable fantasy read.  If anything, just get a fake book jacket and indulge your inner dungeon-lover incognito.

Resolutus Interuptus

Hey, look, it’s the dawn of a new decade (give or take a day or two)! And what would any new year be without a compulsory list of resolutions.

My friend Michael made several good points about resolutions over on his blog, The Pastoral Urbanite. One of which was this; if you’re serious about setting resolutions for yourself, don’t tie yourself down with the New Year timeframe. Take your time, put some serious thought into it, and avoid letting your good judgment be tainted by the lingering effects of a New Years Eve hangover.

Sage words. I agree that often delaying change or commitment due to chronological constraints is stupid. Issues often arise that need a prompt response, not a brush-off to be addressed in the new year. Things don’t work that way.

That said, I’m still sticking with making my resolutions on the first of the year. Perhaps I’m ignoring the spirit (and definition) of New Year resolutions, but I like to think of resolutions less as commitments to make a radical change in my life, and more as a prescribed chance to take an honest assessment of myself and my actions over the past year. A proofread for the soul, if you will. No rigid new rules or mandates, just an objective(ish) critique of Judd in 2009. And while Michael makes a great point about not rushing yourself with meaningless dates, there is something to be said about composing a retrospective while the body of the previous year is still warm. I’m one who prefers to get my musings of the previous year wrapped sooner rather than later, eliminating one more distraction from my enjoyment of the new year.

Also, I’m not going to post them. Pretty anticlimactic, right? I started this post with every intention of shuffling last year’s skeletons on to the front lawn of cyberspace. Two days later, I’ve decided against it. My assessments/resolutions will remain classified. Not that there’s anything sinister in there. I wish. Basically it just got a little too introspective for me to feel comfortable throwing out in the open. Rest assured though that it is a beautifully crafted list, piercing yet comforting, both sharply humorous and blindingly melancholy, written in iambic pentameter.

So you’ve missed out (or lucked out, depending on how you feel about iambic pentameter) on one list, but take heart, dear reader! Already I’m practically hard at work composing retrospective top-ten lists and predictions for the new year, which will no doubt be much more entertaining than some silly resolutions.

The Pre-Resolution Resolutions

1.  Write out some decent New Year resolutions.

2.  Make "regular blog updates" somewhere high up on the list.

So daily updates are just too much for me.  It puts far too large a dent into my designated procrastination time.  But two or three a week?  Yeah, I can handle that.  Hopefully.

Below are the latest two episodes of "Advanced Common Sense," the best damn comics review video show out there.  Also the only damn comics review video show out there, as far as I know.  It's been a while since I checked in on ACS.  I was pleasantly surprised to see the average amount of viewers per episode had doubled on the latest installment.  Yessirree, episode six had a whopping three thousand views.  Chubby kid with a broom handle it ain't, but it's a start.

Advanced Common Sense, Episode 5



Advanced Common Sense, Episode 6



It's getting harder to seperate the sarcasm from the enthusiasm as Stone churns more of these things out.  But the lightning rounds are consistantly hilarious.

Gimme That Christian Side Hug! That Christian Side Hug!

This video really isn't easy to get through, but it does beg an interesting question (which is posed below the video).



Has full-frontal hugging become such a moral epidemic that Evengelicals have deemed it necessary to develop a soul-saving counter-maneuver?  Has physical interaction become such a taboo that the Christian Side Hug (or CSH, as the brainwashed kids call it) sounds like a viable alternative to something as joyous and harmless as giving or recieving a hug?

Step 1:  CSH
Step 2:  Ladies, break out the burkas and walk at least ten feet behind all male companions while in public.

Coburn 2: Electric Boogaloo

In which Rachel Maddow goes after Dr. No's no-nos, pointing out that if he isn't a liar now, he was then.

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And from later on in the same show, here's one of the funniest segments I've seen in a long time involving a fat, flightless, amorous parrot:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Hook, Line, and Stinker

I know I'm supposed to be taking it easy after yesterday's post, but this is pretty huge breaking news, especially for my fellow Okies.  The New York Times has broken a whole new chunk of the John Ensign story, nailing him on what seems to be some pretty hefty ethics violations stemming from his extramaritial affair earlier this year.  While this is without a doubt big news, the part I'm gasping and blinking about is the bit involving Oklahoma junior senator Tom Coburn and his admission to playing broker to a what seems to be an illegal hush-up between Ensign and his mistress' family.

(photo pasted from the NYT)

Coburn has previously gone on the record as saying that he and other conservative members of the Senate had approached Ensign, urging him to end his affair before it caused irreconcilable harm.  Ensign's mistress' husband later fingered Colburn as the one who set up a payoff deal, in which Ensign's parents arranged for a "gift" in the form of hundreds of thousands of dollars in checks to be given to the family, and the mistress' husband be assigned as a lobbyist who lobbied directly to Ensign (which is illegal, as the husband was formerly on Ensign's staff and a full year had not gone by.  Also, there was apparently some shady dealing as to getting lobbyists to hire on the husband, not to mention the favors Ensign did in exchange).  Coburn denied all charges, claiming that he and others only ever counciled Ensign to end things.  Coburn also said that as a deacon and a physician, any conversations he had with Ensign or anyone else would be forever confidential, no matter who asked.

And that was his story, until the new one came out today.  Aparently forever didn't last as long as Coburn originally intended.  In the article, Coburn admitted to brokering the deal.  Here's a link to the story, and here's the video from the Rachel Maddow Show that almost had me spitting up lentil soup in shock:

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To which Judd says:  "Holy Batshit, Fatman!"