Writer and essayist Steve Almond participated in an hour-long interview with Future Tense Books micro-publisher Kevin Sampsell while at this year's Tin House Summer Writers Workshop. Writers' Dojo has released the first two installments of what I assume (and hope) will be a six-part interview.
In part one Almond discusses his current role as an educator, how he's currently getting by, his brief stint as a "chew toy" to the Right, and what that brief political infamy ultimately cost him.
Part two gives us a glimpse of what Almond's been working on lately, his experiments with flash fiction, and the new form some of his advice on writing has taken.
Steve Almond's easily my favorite contemporary fiction writer. His pieces are often simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking. His stuff was hugely influencal to my own (long-lost) style of fiction writing. If you're looking for a great collection of short stories, you can't go wrong with "My Life in Heavy Metal." His latest collection of essays and rants, "Not that You Asked," provide his own unique insight into a variety of topics, including Lobster Pad Thai, the downside of the Red Sox finally getting their shit straight, and (of course) his own painfully awkward adolescent sex life.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
A Handful of Quotes
November 14, 1988:
“Today, to a degree never before seen in human history, one nation, the United States, has become the model to be followed and imitated by the rest of the world. But America's world leadership goes well beyond the tide toward democracy. We also find that more countries than ever before are following America's revolutionary economic message of free enterprise, low taxes, and open world trade. These days, whenever I see foreign leaders, they tell me about their plans for reducing taxes, and other economic reforms that they are using, copying what we have done here in our country.”
“I wonder if they realize that this vision of economic freedom, the freedom to work, to create and produce, to own and use property without the interference of the state, was central to the American Revolution, when the American colonists rebelled against a whole web of economic restrictions, taxes and barriers to free trade. The message at the Boston Tea Party -- have you studied yet in history about the Boston Tea Party, where because of a tax they went down and dumped the tea in the Harbor. Well, that was America's original tax revolt, and it was the fruits of our labor -- it belonged to us and not to the state. And that truth is fundamental to both liberty and prosperity.”
QUESTION: “My name is Cam Fitzie and I'm from St. Agnes School in Alexandria, Virginia. I was wondering if you think that it is possible to decrease the national debt without raising the taxes of the public?”
ANSWER: “I do. That's a big argument that's going on in government and I definitely believe it is because one of the principle reasons that we were able to get the economy back on track and create those new jobs and all was we cut the taxes, we reduced them. Because you see, the taxes can be such a penalty on people that there's no incentive for them to prosper and to earn more and so forth because they have to give so much to the government. And what we have found is that at the lower rates the government gets more revenue, there are more people paying taxes because there are more people with jobs and there are more people willing to earn more money because they get to keep a bigger share of it, so today, we're getting more revenue at the lower rates than we were at the higher. And do you know something? I studied economics in college when I was young and I learned there about a man named Ibn Khaldun, who lived 1200 years ago in Egypt. And 1200 years ago he said, in the beginning of the empire, the rates were low, the tax rates were low, but the revenue was great. He said in the end of empire, when the empire was collapsing, the rates were great and the revenue was low.”
--Excerpts from an address and Q&A session given to school children by President Ronald Regan
October 1, 1991:
“Block out the kids who think it's not cool to be smart. I can't understand for the life of me what's so great about being stupid. If someone goofs off today, are they cool? Are they still cool years from now when they're stuck in a dead-end job? Don't let peer pressure stand between you and your dreams.”
“Let me leave you with a simple message: Every time you walk through that classroom door, make it your mission to get a good education. Don't do it just because your parents, or even the President, tells you. Do it for yourselves. Do it for your future. And while you're at it, help a little brother or sister to learn, or maybe even Mom or Dad. Let me know how you're doing. Write me a letter -- and I'm serious about this one -- write me a letter about ways you can help us achieve our goals. I think you know the address.”
--Excerpts from an address given to school children by President George H.W. Bush
I guess it's only propaganda and indoctrination if you're black.
“Today, to a degree never before seen in human history, one nation, the United States, has become the model to be followed and imitated by the rest of the world. But America's world leadership goes well beyond the tide toward democracy. We also find that more countries than ever before are following America's revolutionary economic message of free enterprise, low taxes, and open world trade. These days, whenever I see foreign leaders, they tell me about their plans for reducing taxes, and other economic reforms that they are using, copying what we have done here in our country.”
“I wonder if they realize that this vision of economic freedom, the freedom to work, to create and produce, to own and use property without the interference of the state, was central to the American Revolution, when the American colonists rebelled against a whole web of economic restrictions, taxes and barriers to free trade. The message at the Boston Tea Party -- have you studied yet in history about the Boston Tea Party, where because of a tax they went down and dumped the tea in the Harbor. Well, that was America's original tax revolt, and it was the fruits of our labor -- it belonged to us and not to the state. And that truth is fundamental to both liberty and prosperity.”
QUESTION: “My name is Cam Fitzie and I'm from St. Agnes School in Alexandria, Virginia. I was wondering if you think that it is possible to decrease the national debt without raising the taxes of the public?”
ANSWER: “I do. That's a big argument that's going on in government and I definitely believe it is because one of the principle reasons that we were able to get the economy back on track and create those new jobs and all was we cut the taxes, we reduced them. Because you see, the taxes can be such a penalty on people that there's no incentive for them to prosper and to earn more and so forth because they have to give so much to the government. And what we have found is that at the lower rates the government gets more revenue, there are more people paying taxes because there are more people with jobs and there are more people willing to earn more money because they get to keep a bigger share of it, so today, we're getting more revenue at the lower rates than we were at the higher. And do you know something? I studied economics in college when I was young and I learned there about a man named Ibn Khaldun, who lived 1200 years ago in Egypt. And 1200 years ago he said, in the beginning of the empire, the rates were low, the tax rates were low, but the revenue was great. He said in the end of empire, when the empire was collapsing, the rates were great and the revenue was low.”
--Excerpts from an address and Q&A session given to school children by President Ronald Regan
October 1, 1991:
“Block out the kids who think it's not cool to be smart. I can't understand for the life of me what's so great about being stupid. If someone goofs off today, are they cool? Are they still cool years from now when they're stuck in a dead-end job? Don't let peer pressure stand between you and your dreams.”
“Let me leave you with a simple message: Every time you walk through that classroom door, make it your mission to get a good education. Don't do it just because your parents, or even the President, tells you. Do it for yourselves. Do it for your future. And while you're at it, help a little brother or sister to learn, or maybe even Mom or Dad. Let me know how you're doing. Write me a letter -- and I'm serious about this one -- write me a letter about ways you can help us achieve our goals. I think you know the address.”
--Excerpts from an address given to school children by President George H.W. Bush
I guess it's only propaganda and indoctrination if you're black.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Tintin fever
At the comic book shop the other day I was shocked to find a book called "Tintin and the Alph-Art." "Alph-Art" was the title of legendary comic book writer Hergé's final Tintin story, incomplete at the time of his death in 1983. All that existed of "Alph-Art," as I understood it, was a collection notes and scribbles, a rough and unfinished outline and some basic sketches. I'm happy to say I was misinformed.
In 2004 Tintin publisher Little, Brown released Hergé's lost final adventure. The story is indeed incomplete, but it's much more cohesive and elaborate than I'd believed. Accompanied with recently recovered sketches and page breakdowns, this is undeniably a Tintin story.
Needless to say I bought the book and spent the rest of the day pouring over it. "Alph-Art" has reawakened my love of all things Tintin. I've since been scouring the internet to find the animated series, and I've also begun rereading some of the earlier Hergé works.
"Alph-Art" has also got me stoked about the Tintin movie currently in the works, "The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn." IMDB lists the film as in post-production, with a release date of... December, 2011. Which is an absurd amount of time for friggin' post-production! This one's directe by Steven Spielburg, and the unnamed sequel is apparently going to be directed by Peter Jackson.
Here's a look at some of the cast:
Thompson & Thomson/Simon Pegg & Nick Frost
In 2004 Tintin publisher Little, Brown released Hergé's lost final adventure. The story is indeed incomplete, but it's much more cohesive and elaborate than I'd believed. Accompanied with recently recovered sketches and page breakdowns, this is undeniably a Tintin story.
Needless to say I bought the book and spent the rest of the day pouring over it. "Alph-Art" has reawakened my love of all things Tintin. I've since been scouring the internet to find the animated series, and I've also begun rereading some of the earlier Hergé works.
"Alph-Art" has also got me stoked about the Tintin movie currently in the works, "The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn." IMDB lists the film as in post-production, with a release date of... December, 2011. Which is an absurd amount of time for friggin' post-production! This one's directe by Steven Spielburg, and the unnamed sequel is apparently going to be directed by Peter Jackson.
Here's a look at some of the cast:
Tintin/Jamie Bell
Captain Haddock/Andy Serkis
Thompson & Thomson/Simon Pegg & Nick Frost
Red Rackham/Daniel Craig
If you've never red Tintin, I can't recommend the series enough. These were the first comic books I'd ever read as a kid, and they've remained some of my absolute favorites.
Art Becko
Over the past few months I’ve developed a profound respect for Fox News’ Glenn Beck. Lately the stream of consciousness-esque meltdowns on his show have been captivating both in their stunning originality and their complete rejection of reality. Like any fun-loving anarchist, I subscribe to the belief that destruction is also a form of creation. This conviction has led to the realization that Beck himself is actually a performance artist; he’s presenting the viewer with an unflinching glimpse into the hyperbolic tsunami of Right-Wing schizophrenia that is Glenn Beck, in what we can only hope will be five acts.
Act I was the launch of “Project 9/12” and Beck’s sudden thick-voiced mancrying jag that dispersed as suddenly as it appeared. Act II was the racist accusation heard ‘round the world. Act III saw Beck (hereafter refered to as “Maestro”) dousing an intern with water from a gas can and threatening to light him ablaze (and also seemingly sending the intern into hypothermic shock). We are now in Act IV of what will surely be remembered in Humanities textbooks for generations to come as “NeoCon: Deconstructed.” Highlights so far include uncovering the secret far-left “OLIGARHY,” and last night’s revelation that Leftist propaganda cleverly disguised as art has been haphazardly strewn about the Rockefeller Center for decades… and we’ve never even noticed it!
This latest topic is fascinating. The only problem is that if you’re not familiar with actual reality and context of the art mentioned in, around, and not even close to Rockefeller Center, you might not fully grasp the genius of this piece. But before we go into that, let me just be clear on my intent here; I am in no way attempting to correct or criticize the Maestro’s stunning piece. I am absolutely not worthy of such a daunting endeavor. My intent here is merely to provide the reader with a “cheat sheet” of sorts, a brief dash of reality and context meant to enhance the beauty of the Maestro’s madness.
First off, here’s a video of the segment in question:
Maestro has established that Rockefeller (although he's not sure which one) was a capitalist, but that the actual center is full of Pinko-Commie-Fascist “artistic” depictions. He began his in-depth analysis with a look at the main entrance to One Rockefeller Plaza, an intaglio carving called “Industry and Agriculture,” created in 1937 by Carl Paul Jennewein.
According to the Rockefeller Center Web site, the carvings represent “the commercial activities of industry and agriculture, depicting universal activities, not individuals. One figure holds a shovel [not a hammer], symbolizing industry, while the other holds a scythe and gestures to shafts of wheat, representing the harvest, or agriculture. It is a straightforward interpretation of workers and their work, a common Art Deco theme. The figures are strong and idealized, signifying the roots of prosperity in America and promoting its work ethic.”
Next up is “Youth Leading Industry,” a 1936 bas-relief created by renown sculptor Antilio Piccirilli. This isn't all Piccirilli’s know for, either; he and his family carved the statue of Abraham Lincoln for the Lincoln Monument.
Maestro’s pretty dead-on with this one. I will say though that it was actually Piccirilli’s nephew, not his son, that was killed in WWII. But other than that, yeah. This is a relief of a fascist ideal, and most scholars agree that Piccirilli depicted Mussolini holding the reins. But is it Progressive, as Maestro says? ‘Fraid not. Here’s what The Daily Kos’ CatM had to say about it: “Mussolini's fascism was anticommunist and antisocialist. Mussolini described socialism ‘as a doctrine that was already dead.’ It fostered nationalist sentiments, opposed democracy, protected the class system, promoted militarization of a nation, and opposed free press and trade unions. The ‘Third Way’ fascists thought of themselves as combating liberal institutions. Does this sound progressive? Further, it illustrates that you cannot simultaneously be communist and fascist.”
“Swords Into Plowshares,” a gray and gold relief by Lee Lawrie, was third.
According to the Rockefeller Center’s Web site again, this piece is one of three Lawrie made as an “appeal for world peace.” And while Maestro does indeed mention the name “ISAIH,” he moves on before exploring the significance of “ISAIH II IV.” Specifically, the Biblical significance:
Isaiah 2:4 (New International Version)
He will judge between the nations
and will settle disputes for many peoples.
They will beat their swords into plowshares
and their spears into pruning hooks.
Nation will not take up sword against nation,
nor will they train for war anymore.
Also, the statue Maestro compares “Swords and Plowshares” to didn’t show up until almost forty years later. It was a gift to the United Nations, in hopes that the United Nations would indeed ensure that nation would not take up sword against nation ever again.
Act I was the launch of “Project 9/12” and Beck’s sudden thick-voiced mancrying jag that dispersed as suddenly as it appeared. Act II was the racist accusation heard ‘round the world. Act III saw Beck (hereafter refered to as “Maestro”) dousing an intern with water from a gas can and threatening to light him ablaze (and also seemingly sending the intern into hypothermic shock). We are now in Act IV of what will surely be remembered in Humanities textbooks for generations to come as “NeoCon: Deconstructed.” Highlights so far include uncovering the secret far-left “OLIGARHY,” and last night’s revelation that Leftist propaganda cleverly disguised as art has been haphazardly strewn about the Rockefeller Center for decades… and we’ve never even noticed it!
This latest topic is fascinating. The only problem is that if you’re not familiar with actual reality and context of the art mentioned in, around, and not even close to Rockefeller Center, you might not fully grasp the genius of this piece. But before we go into that, let me just be clear on my intent here; I am in no way attempting to correct or criticize the Maestro’s stunning piece. I am absolutely not worthy of such a daunting endeavor. My intent here is merely to provide the reader with a “cheat sheet” of sorts, a brief dash of reality and context meant to enhance the beauty of the Maestro’s madness.
First off, here’s a video of the segment in question:
Maestro has established that Rockefeller (although he's not sure which one) was a capitalist, but that the actual center is full of Pinko-Commie-Fascist “artistic” depictions. He began his in-depth analysis with a look at the main entrance to One Rockefeller Plaza, an intaglio carving called “Industry and Agriculture,” created in 1937 by Carl Paul Jennewein.
According to the Rockefeller Center Web site, the carvings represent “the commercial activities of industry and agriculture, depicting universal activities, not individuals. One figure holds a shovel [not a hammer], symbolizing industry, while the other holds a scythe and gestures to shafts of wheat, representing the harvest, or agriculture. It is a straightforward interpretation of workers and their work, a common Art Deco theme. The figures are strong and idealized, signifying the roots of prosperity in America and promoting its work ethic.”
Next up is “Youth Leading Industry,” a 1936 bas-relief created by renown sculptor Antilio Piccirilli. This isn't all Piccirilli’s know for, either; he and his family carved the statue of Abraham Lincoln for the Lincoln Monument.
Maestro’s pretty dead-on with this one. I will say though that it was actually Piccirilli’s nephew, not his son, that was killed in WWII. But other than that, yeah. This is a relief of a fascist ideal, and most scholars agree that Piccirilli depicted Mussolini holding the reins. But is it Progressive, as Maestro says? ‘Fraid not. Here’s what The Daily Kos’ CatM had to say about it: “Mussolini's fascism was anticommunist and antisocialist. Mussolini described socialism ‘as a doctrine that was already dead.’ It fostered nationalist sentiments, opposed democracy, protected the class system, promoted militarization of a nation, and opposed free press and trade unions. The ‘Third Way’ fascists thought of themselves as combating liberal institutions. Does this sound progressive? Further, it illustrates that you cannot simultaneously be communist and fascist.”
“Swords Into Plowshares,” a gray and gold relief by Lee Lawrie, was third.
According to the Rockefeller Center’s Web site again, this piece is one of three Lawrie made as an “appeal for world peace.” And while Maestro does indeed mention the name “ISAIH,” he moves on before exploring the significance of “ISAIH II IV.” Specifically, the Biblical significance:
Isaiah 2:4 (New International Version)
He will judge between the nations
and will settle disputes for many peoples.
They will beat their swords into plowshares
and their spears into pruning hooks.
Nation will not take up sword against nation,
nor will they train for war anymore.
Also, the statue Maestro compares “Swords and Plowshares” to didn’t show up until almost forty years later. It was a gift to the United Nations, in hopes that the United Nations would indeed ensure that nation would not take up sword against nation ever again.
And for the coup de grace, Maestro rallied against Diego Rivera’s infamous mural, “Man at the Crossroads.”
It’s true that the mural was commissioned by (Nelson) Rockefeller to be in the lobby of 30 Rock. But when it was first created, it didn’t actually have a lot of the stuff Maestro mentioned. No Rockefeller by the STD. No Leon Trotsky, no Karl Marx. Controversy reportedly arose when Rivera added Lenin and the communists into the mural. When Rockefeller saw this, he flipped out and ordered Rivera to change the mural. Rivera refused and Rockefeller had the mural hidden and eventually destroyed. The extras that Maestro referred to didn’t actually show up until Rivera recreated the mural in Mexico City. The picture of the mural that the Maestro is analyzing was never a part of Rockefeller Center, it was a recreation.
So what’s the one common denominator that irrefutably and invisibly links Rockefeller propaganda to the Leftist/Communist/Socialist/Pinko/Free-Love/Eldercide/Nazi/STD-ridden/Indoctrinating Democratic party? Why, Van Jones, of course. Magic.
Act IV is turning out to be absolutely incredible, folks. Beyond my wildest expectations. Keep tuned in to see history in the making. Because once all the sponsors disappear, Act V is inevitably soon to follow. I’m envisioning a fatal hunger strike in the beginning, and Rupert Murdoch commissioning a 200-foot memorial statue of the Maestro copulating with a Holstein cow placed atop Mount Rushmore to wrap things up. It should be glorious.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Why I love NPR
RNC chair Michael Steele went on NPR last week to discuss the evils of a government-dictated health system. He was promptly made a fool of in less than ten minutes by NPR's Steve Inkeep. Here are a couple of my favorite moments from the interview:
INSKEEP: [Regarding Medicare] It's going to run out of money. Mr. STEELE: Exactly.
INSKEEP: But you're coming here against reducing the spending on Medicare, restraining Medicare.
Mr. STEELE: No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not coming out against reducing the spending. That is not - I mean, that's a wonderful interpretation by the left, but what I was saying was don't go raiding the program without some sense of what we're taking from the program, the impact it's going to have on the senior citizens out there. You know, raiding a program that's already bankrupt to pay for another program that we can't afford is not good public policy. INSKEEP: So you would be in favor of certain Medicare cuts?
Mr. STEELE: Absolutely. You want to maximize the efficiencies of the program. I mean, anyone who's in the program would want you to do that, and certainly those who manage it want you to that.
INSKEEP: Here's another thing that I'm trying to figure out: Within a couple of paragraphs of writing we need to protect Medicare, you write that you oppose President Obama's, quote, plan for a government-run health care system.
Mr. STEELE: Mm-hmm.
INSKEEP: Now you're a veteran public policy official. You're aware that Medicare is a government-run health care program.
Mr. STEELE: Yeah, look how it's run. And that's my point. Take Medicare and make it writ large across the country, because here we're now - how many times have we been to the precipice of bankruptcy for a government-run health care program?
INSKEEP: It sounds like you don't like Medicare very much at all...
Mr. STEELE: No, I'm not saying that. No, Medicare...
INSKEEP: ...but you write in this op-ed that you want to protect Medicare because it's politically popular. People like Medicare.
Mr. STEELE: No, no, no, no, no. Please, don't...
INSKEEP: That's why you're writing to protect Medicare.
Mr. STEELE: Well, people may like Medicare, and liking a program and having it run efficiently is sometimes two different things. And the reality of it is simply this: I'm not saying I like or dislike Medicare. It is what it is. It is a program that has been around for over 40 years, and in those 40 years, it has not been run efficiently and well enough to sustain itself. You have Medicare. You have Amtrak. You have the Post Office - all these government-run agencies that try to inject themselves into private markets typically don't do too well. My only point is that, okay, Medicare is what it is. It's not going anywhere. So let's focus on fixing it so that we don't every three, five, 10 years have discussions about bankruptcy and running out of money.
INSKEEP: I'm still having a little trouble with the notion that you're going to write that you're going to protect Medicare, that you're going to preserve this program to make sure that this government-run health care system stays solid in the long term...
Mr. STEELE: Let's get it to run right.
INSKEEP: ...and yet you are opposing, quote, government-run health care.
Mr. STEELE: Exactly. Well, wait a minute. Just because, you know, I want to protect something that's already in place and make it run better and run efficiently for the senior citizens that are in that system does not mean that I want to automatically support, you know, nationalizing or creating a similar system for everybody else in the country who currently isn't on Medicare.
Mr. STEELE: My point is, you know, if the government's going to do, it's going to do it 10 times worse and it's going to be more pronounced than the private insurers. And I don't - I think that's a feature we can fix right now. And sure, there are issues in the insurance market that we can regulate a little bit better and that we can control better to maximize the benefits to the consumers. That's something that, yeah, we can rightly reform and fix. If the...
INSKEEP: Wait a minute, wait, wait. You would trust the government to look into that?
Mr. STEELE: No. I'm talking about the - I'm talking about private - I'm talking about...
INSKEEP: Who is...
Mr. STEELE: ...citizens. I'm talking about...
INSKEEP: You said that's something that should be looked into. Who is it that should look into that?
Mr. STEELE: I'm talking about those who - well, who regulates the insurance markets?
INSKEEP: That would be the government, I believe.
Mr. STEELE: Well, and so it - wait a minute, hold up. You know, you're doing a wonderful little dance here and you're trying to be cute, but the reality of this is very simple. I'm not saying the government doesn't have a role to play. I've never said that. The government does have a role to play. The government has a very limited role to play.
INSKEEP: Mr. Chairman, I respect that you feel that I'm doing a dance here. I just want you to know that as a citizen, I'm a little confused by the positions you take because you're giving me a very nice nuanced position here.
The full transcript of the conversation, as well as the audio version, can be found here. This is a perfect example of what happens when you get a Republican talking about health care reform and they stray outside the prescribed soundbytes and misnomers. They fall apart and become contradictory. This is why there's precious little acutal debate coming from the Right. Instead they make shit up about death panels, death books, secret nazi schemes and whatever else sounds shocking and threatening to the unenlightened masses.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
"Advanced Common Sense" Episode Four
So, yeah. I worked a ten-hour shift today. That's a lot of flowers. I don't really feel like writing anything at all, but nonetheless, I am committed. So here's the latest episode of "Advanced Common Sense," hosted by comic book guru Tucker Stone. It's better than the last episode, but still not quite as good as episode two.
Ehh, whaddayagon'do. Enjoy.
By the way, the video doesn't seem to be centered within the box. You may have to click the video again and watch it on youtube to see it with the right side in its proper place. Sorry about that, I'm still trying to figure out some of the bells and whistles.
Ehh, whaddayagon'do. Enjoy.
By the way, the video doesn't seem to be centered within the box. You may have to click the video again and watch it on youtube to see it with the right side in its proper place. Sorry about that, I'm still trying to figure out some of the bells and whistles.
30 posts in 30 days
What's the best way to get off your lazy ass and write?
Beats me. But I'm gonna try setting really high goals this month and then attempt to guilt myself into following up. So, here's the deal:
One post per day, for thirty days. I won't bother choking this commitment down with rules and whatnot. No manditory length, content or multimedia filler. If I feel like writing two thousand words about Sally Kern or Batman, great. If I just want to post a picture I took and maybe type a line or two afterwards, that's fine too. Just as long as something shows up on the blog for thirty consecutive days.
Piece of cake, right?
Oh, and this entry doesn't even count for today. Yeah. That's how badass I am today.
Beats me. But I'm gonna try setting really high goals this month and then attempt to guilt myself into following up. So, here's the deal:
One post per day, for thirty days. I won't bother choking this commitment down with rules and whatnot. No manditory length, content or multimedia filler. If I feel like writing two thousand words about Sally Kern or Batman, great. If I just want to post a picture I took and maybe type a line or two afterwards, that's fine too. Just as long as something shows up on the blog for thirty consecutive days.
Piece of cake, right?
Oh, and this entry doesn't even count for today. Yeah. That's how badass I am today.
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